Slave or Master of your Time? I’m seeing a common theme with my executive clients. It goes something like this… “I am tied up all day long in back-to-back meetings, such that the only time I have to do the work that comes out of those meetings is from 10pm onward, or as a 4am start to my next day.” Or, like this… “I’m always running late. Each meeting goes over, and I end up feeling harried and apologetic for keeping people waiting. I’m always running to catch up!”

What I notice in these conversations is the hopelessness and resignation with which these stories are told to me. And, if it felt like an easy fix, these high-level, experienced executives would have taken care of it already. That said, I do think there are a few incremental shifts that can make a world of difference in how you feel about who’s in charge of your calendar. Here are some approaches that have worked well for others. Read them over to see if any or all might serve you as you work to become master of your destiny, or, at least, of your calendar.

Suggestion #1:
Block time for work during your workday
Rather than creating an endless list of “to dos” with no time allocated to actually get them “ta done!” − take those action items and schedule time for their completion. If things change, reschedule that work project to another day/time. If your response to this suggestion is that there isn’t any open time in which to schedule work, read on for ideas on how to change that situation.

Suggestion #2:
Schedule 50 or 75-minute meetings
For meetings that you convene, build in time to transition to the next event. Then, stick to only the amount of content that can be covered in that timeframe. If you’re a participant in a meeting, let the leader know upfront that you’ll need to excuse yourself a few minutes early to get to your next appointment on time. When I coach leaders to improve their communication effectiveness, it is common to find that one of the issues is the failure to take the 2-5 minutes before a meeting to think through their desired outcomes and strategic questions. By building in the buffer, you can arrive at each meeting ready to be present and highly effective, and you’ll avoid being chronically late. You’ll also have a chance to address fundamentals like grabbing a glass of water, or going to the bathroom.

Suggestion #3:
Align with your Executive Assistant
The clients that are most successful at mastering their calendars invest the necessary time with their Executive Assistants to regularly review strategic priorities and stakeholders with them. They have brief and efficient 1:1s on a weekly basis to look at the short and mid-term and discuss calendar implications. Their EAs know what to hold sacred on the calendar, which projects and people take precedent over the rest, and to ensure their executives have time to think, breathe and eat every day.

Suggestion #4:
Say “No” more often
One of my clients was recently promoted to VP. As I worked with her to establish herself in her new role, I came to understand that she experienced large amounts of stress related to her calendar. As we talked, it became evident that she was spending 80% of her time in meetings, and only 40% of that time was valuable. Upon further discussion, we came upon the fact that she and 1 or 2 other colleagues in the same group were attending these same less-than-fruitful live and virtual meetings. By implementing a practice in which only one representative from the group attends, and by creating a simple template to reflect the key ideas and decisions made from each meeting that gets circulated to those who need it, my client has saved herself and her colleagues significant time that can now be used to drive the strategic agenda forward. In addition, she has become comfortable with declining meetings and conversations that don’t align with her focus areas in a way that continues to reflect collaboration and creates space on her calendar to do what really needs to get done.

Suggestion #5:
Manage Your Energy and Fuel
In many ways, the workday of a high-level executive at a busy firm can be compared to the physical demands of an elite athlete. I’m not the only one who thinks so. Tony Schwartz and Jim Loehr wrote a book called “The Power of Full Engagement” in which they compare the two, and provide recommendations for leaders on how to maintain consistent energy levels throughout the day. They talk of work as a series of sprints versus a marathon, of the need to re-fuel the body with healthy calories every 3 hours and to take short breaks of attention every 90 minutes by looking out the window, going for a brief walk, or listening to a relaxing piece of music.

The reality for most of us is that we’ll always have too much to do and too many demands on our time. No one can fix the problem for us. We need to shift our approach, and design our workdays to best reflect our strategic priorities. Those priorities need to include time with family, time alone and time to work on what will make the biggest contribution in service to others. Choose to become the master of your calendar and start saying no more often to those people and activities that don’t align with where you want to go. Small shifts in how you manage your time can make a world of difference in the long run.  ¶ 2:55 PM 0 Comments

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  Feeling Our Way in the Dark This past weekend, the kids and I experienced the Tactile Dome at the Exploratorium in San Francisco. Friends had told us of this journey through complete darkness that one can take inside a small geodesic dome within the larger museum. The walls of the dome are covered with interesting and varied materials (rubber, faux fur, etc) that provide a range of textures, along with such things as chains, a shoe, keys, etc.

Soon into our experience, I began to recognize my stress levels rising, as the passageway became narrower and narrower and I was on my hands and knees, feeling the opening against my shoulders, climbing up, then sliding down. I've never been in such darkness. I could not see anything, not my hand in front of my face, not the passageway, not the entrance. Nothing! All that I was left with was my sense of touch, and the occasional direction given from my son and daughter who were up ahead.

The first time through, I did not stop to feel the interesting textures on the walls, or take my time sinking into this brand new experience. I was on a mission, and that mission was to survive! After what felt like an hour, but was really about 10 minutes, we emerged into the light. I felt grateful and elated that I made it through the fear and sense of panic. I also felt the desire to go on the journey again, this time ready to focus more on the experience of it all, and less on my goal of just getting through. Each of the next three times became easier and more enjoyable. I felt less hurried and more present.

When clients in coaching try something really new, they sometimes experience their own version of the Tactile Dome, feeling their way in unknown territory, focused mainly on just getting through. Then, with each passing effort in that new direction, they become more comfortable and can start to notice the landscape around them and their own feelings and thoughts along the way. With each successful passage, they grow their confidence and their comfort until that very new mindset or behavior becomes part of their expanded repertoire - available for when they need it.

I can't say I'm eager to go back to the Tactile Dome in the near future. However, I'm confident that I'll be feeling my way through unknown territory again really soon. How about you? Where do YOU want a breakthrough?  ¶ 7:56 PM 0 Comments

  An Attitude of Gratitude One of the most powerful ways I have found to help clients get unstuck is to invite them to dwell in the abundance of now. We are sometimes so busy focused on the lack in our lives that we fail to sink into all that is good, or great, maybe even glorious in our current experience. Particularly in recent months, it's easy to focus on stock market declines, lack of ethical behavior by politicians, increasing unemployment rates, and the failing auto industry, to name a few. The thing is that focusing on lack doesn't help the situation. What does help generate different outcomes is to love the life you've got and get the life you love. I saw this on a keychain recently, and I really liked it. In my experience, and that of dozens of my clients, when we start to truly appreciate the gifts in the now, and get clear on our desires for our future, then it is as if the universal ways and means committee has the go ahead to support our success.

Try this exercise. Find a little notebook that is empty and lying around, or, if you prefer to type, as I do, start a new folder called For This I am Grateful. Then, for one week, make a point of starting each day writing down the first few thoughts that come to mind; aspects of your life that you appreciate and feel thankful for. Be specific. Spend enough quiet time to feel that you are complete, and then put it away until the next day. Each day, read over what you have written the day before, and then provide your new entry.

In support of getting more of the life you love, take the last few pages of your notebook to write down My Best Life. In this section, begin to describe your desired life - the juiciest one you can imagine - from as many dimensions as you can - work, home, health, spiritual, etc. Write this description in the present tense, as if you are already living it. For example, it might start out, I am in great health, running and playing tennis on a weekly basis and feeling good and energized. I love my work and the people with whom I collaborate. On a daily basis I am ....(insert the juicy details of your best life here).Take as much space as you need to write a description of your life that gets you really fired up. Then, read it over on at least a weekly basis and send me an email when it manifests right before your very eyes.

Thankfully,
Karen  ¶ 8:25 PM 0 Comments

  What's My Role? In an effort to be collaborative, leaders can create confusion and frustration for their teams. See if this sounds familiar...

Sara walks into the weekly team meeting, and as leader, reviews the agenda items. The first item is one she provided, and it involves making a decision on XYZ. She asks for the team's thoughts and ideas on XYZ and a robust discussion ensues. Eventually, Sara interrupts and asks the group, for the sake of time, to move onto the next agenda item. At next week's team meeting, Sara announces a new initiative to address XYZ. Members of the team react with various facial expressions and mumblings that clearly communicate their lack of receptivity to her announcement. Sara is left feeling a little confused, as does her team.

What's not working about this scenario?

Sara forgot to make the decision-making process explicitly clear with her team. People want to know their role in the process and can easily become frustrated if they assume they have a vote in the decision, and find out that all the leader was looking for was input.

Think of the decision-making continuum from the perspective of each team member, as follows:

no say--little input---a lot of input --a vote/consensus --team decides-- I alone decide

For an individual on the team, it is very helpful to know where on the continuum this decision will fall. As the leader, it is important to explain the process that will be used for each decision before any discussion occurs. That way, members are clear as to the role they play.

Coaching questions:
- When the process has been unclear recently, what was the impact to the team?
- How are most decisions made within your team?  ¶ 8:35 AM 0 Comments

  Lessons from Goldilocks Being the mother of six-year old twins, I have had the pleasure of reading the tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears more than a few times. Despite the many poor choices that Goldilocks made on that fateful day when she trespassed onto the bears' property and made herself at home, there is one valuable leadership lesson that I take away.

Goldilocks was very good at discerning what was just right. Not too hot, not too cold. Not too hard, or too soft. She was sensitive to striking just the right balance.

As leaders, we can learn from Goldilocks. We can begin to notice where we may be under-using or over-using a particular strength or competency. We can begin to notice where our portfolio of behaviors and thinking patterns may have narrowed over time, and identify ways to expand our range and strike the right balance, based on each situation.

One leader with whom I work had risen through the ranks through a combination of being very smart and outspoken. She was seen as someone who often had the right answer. As she progressed into senior leadership, feedback from others made it clear that she was over-using her strength of debate and under-utilizing the skills needed for collaboration and facilitation. Once she became aware of the need to re-calibrate, she was able to put a plan together to help her shift her thinking and behaviors over time. She began to ask herself, 'What does this specific situation call for?' Her development then focused on becoming a versatile leader with a full range of skills and competencies to draw upon, based on the unique needs of each situation.

Coaching Questions:
- Where may you be over-using a strength, and applying it in situations where it is not ideally suited?
- What skills or competencies do you need to develop to expand your range?
- Think of a situation you're facing that feels challenging. What might wise thinking and wise action look like in this situation?  ¶ 11:34 AM 0 Comments